You gotta get you a... Crazy Asian Contraptions #1

A few weeks ago, I posted about some cheap and cheerful stocking stuffer ideas from TinyDeal. Today's post is also about TinyDeal, but this time I'm focusing on the strange, weird, unusual and just plain creepy gadgets and contraptions that appeal to an Asian market.

This is going to be the first of a series of 2 posts, because there are just too many of these funnies.

Fashionable Anti-ultraviolet Sunglasses with Elastic Strap for Dogs

"Anti-ultraviolet, protects your pets from ultraviolet radiation. Fashionable glasses, makes your pets look cool"

 

Magnetic Electric Eyes Massager

"9 different massaging modes, eliminates eyestrain and tension, prevents myopia or suspends turning into high myopia (Hmmm.. dubious claim), increases blood circulation, nourishing the skin (What can't these do!?), alleviates insomnia by inducing a state of deep relaxation, helps relieve mental stress"

3-Layered Air-Inflated Cervical Vertebra Tractor Inflammable Neck Brace Support

This appears to be a triple layered air cushion, inflated with an attached pump, that you put around your neck. The claims: "Effective for releasing stiffness, muscles spasms and stress on neck, head and shoulders area, Improves blood supply to neck muscles, tendons, and ligaments to promote a total relaxation, Allows any body position: lying, sitting and standing, And any daily activities, like walking, running, working and exercising etc (You should DEFINITELY wear this while running...), Suitable for computer operators, programmers, desk workers, people spending long periods sitting, aging people and so on"

 

 Indoor Weight Loss Slimming Half Sole Slippers Fat Buster Leg Slim Shaper Shoes for Ladies Women (apparently, if you stand on a half shoe like slipper thing, you'll magically loose weight and tone your muscles because of the precarious balancing act you'll be doing...)

"Half sole design, creates a 9°angularity, can stretch and straighten leg muscle, also can make your hip callipygian (this is actually a word, I googled it! It means 'to have well shaped buttocks. not sure how you can make your hip have well shaped buttocks, but anyway...), Special design with separate toe slots, you can apply nail polish with the slippers on, Timer: 2-3 times a day for 5-10 minutes each time, rebuild your slim leg figure anytime you want"

 

Slim Mouth Piece Exercise Clip Face Shaping Cheek Slimming Beauty Tool for Gents& Ladies - also known as a "smile trainer"

 "Inside spring tension will force your mouth to use muscles to close the device. By this way, your muscles around the mouth is strengthened and tightened. Beauty helper for gents& ladies"

 

Higher Nose Shaper

"Clip it on the nose, can make the nose higher and straight. When you are watching TV, reading book, or doing yoga, you could wear this nose up clip. No pain and clip it on your nose only 10-15 minutes per day" (It certainly LOOKS painful!)

 

Portable neckline slimmer

"Effectively resistance to tone, tighten and lift saggy, underlying neck muscles. It is a totally physical therapy design. Gently firms the underlying muscles of the neck & tightens the skin for a dramatic lift"

 

 

Slimming Neck & Jaw Curve Created Under A Jaw Rolling Massager

"Creates charming and slimming neck for you. Improves blood regulation & smoothen neck muscle. And removes double chin (see, it must be magical!). Great helper to build up a prominent neckline."

 

Shouting Vase holds your anger - from Japan Trend Shop

"Turn your loudest, most urgent frustrations into mere whispers with the Shouting Vase. The plastic jug is designed to fit over the contours of your mouth and absorb your screams and shouts, “storing” them in the vase and emitting a softer version of your angry cries through the tiny hole at the base."

 

Eye Slack Haruka

"Just three minutes a day with the Eye Slack Haruka and you should see improvements in the excess or sagging skin around your eyes. Safe and easy to operate, just put the included pads onto the Haruka and then lay it under your eyes. The battery-powered vibrations and gentle heat will then start to improve the condition of your skin, seemingly taking years off you while lessening those tell-tell weary signs of age."

For Part 2 of the Crazy Asian Contraptions series, click here.