Ways to Wear the Flag (or not)

Flag Loincloth:

Flag pet costumes:

Flag body paint:

Flag bur-qua:

Flag condoms:

Flag vajazzling:

Flag lip tattoos:

Flag that Grandma should never have knitted:

Flag yarmulke:

Super sweet flag tutu:

Clashing flags, little old man style:

Flag morph suit:

Flag onesie, ala Bieber:

Flag overload:

Flag prom dress:

Flag on your horse:

Flag turban:

 

Flag Mohawk:

Flag haircuts:

Just plain weird:

Borat did it better:

The Americans seem to the cake in showing us how not to wear the flag... but the Brits come in a close second!

Unusual Purchases

I spend hours on my mobile phone, chatting to anyone who'll listen (okay, maybe I'm not that bad). This got me worrying about radiation. I know there isn't a proven link between phone radiation and cancer (last time I heard anyway), but I'm not taking any chances. It doesn't help that my dear mother is paranoid about cellphone radiation, and has implanted some of this fear into me.

If you're like me, and use your mobile at home instead of a landline, you might want to invest in one of these:

I just did. They're only $7-8 delivered on eBay, sent from Hong Kong. I'll let you know whether it works and whether I actually use it when it arrives. I know I'll be teased about this one by my friends, but I think it's kind of funky (and purple is my colour!).

My next purchase relates to boot storage. It became apparent that I needed something to stuff into my boots to keep them upright in my wardrobe. Someone on the Vogue Forums suggested chopping up a pool noodle, which I thought was a fabulous idea. The only problem is, it's winter so I would really struggle to find a pool noodle. Not to mention it's a bulky, annoying thing to carry around. Someone else said they stuff their boots with newspaper. I would end up with my bedroom looking like a hobo cave if I did that (with scattered newspaper everywhere).

The solution? I bought these inflatable "legs" from Ebay:

Ingenious, no?

Finally, I impulsively bought this cool ice mould today. I don't have any real need for it, but it made me smile and I hope to make others smile when I use it:

Titanic Ice Mould

It will hopefully look like this:

Have you bought anything "out there" lately?

You Gotta Get You a: Dull Pantynose

Elegant Dull Color Pantynose - if you don't already have some, these are a must buy ;-)

I'll be back from China in a few days... until then, xo...

You gotta get you a... Crazy Asian Contraptions #2

This is part 2 of the crazy product series, sold by Chinese retailer TinyDeal. For part 1, click here.

Flower Design Face up Roller Plastic Handheld Facial Face Massager 

"Help promotes face blood circulation and activates skin cells metabolism. Make skin young and energetic. Open the massager and then infibulate the cheek after washing face"

 

 

Hip Buttock Massage Massager Lift-up Shaping Shaper Beauty Tool

"Relieves stress and tension very quickly and effectively. Provides compact and dense massage service. Unsymmetrical massage rollers give your skin different feelings. Roll from bottom to top from thigh to hip area (can be used while showering or after showering)"

 

V-shaped Plate Sway Swing Cushion Seat Pillow for Bottom & Waist Exercise

"Keeps health for your bottom and waist. Do balance exercise and hula dance exercise in bathtub. Makes double sport effect in the water"

Cute Charming Blush Cheek Color Even Card for Make-up DIY

"Makes your facial make-up cute and natural (Seriously!?). Most appropriate for those who just learning make-up"

 

Plastic Eyebrow Shaping Template Stencil Grooming DIY Tool

The description for this one is too predictable. 

Hard Duty Dual Rolling Exercise Handle Wheel with Knee Pad Total Body Exerciser Workout

"Rolling the wheel forward and backward to firm your entire upper body. Control the degree by rolling farther or closer. Reduce your waistline and turn off excess calories. Dual wheels design for greater stability"

(Be sure to wear high heels and underwear while using, so you can look as cool as the lady on the box)

Nose up Straight Bridge Higher Maker Clip Lifting Shaping Shaper Clipper Beauty Tool 

"Makes your little nose clearer, more beautiful and full of happiness (!!!?) Helps shape and lift your nose without the need for expensive plastic surgery. You can use it when driving, watching TV at home, taking a nap after lunch or go to sleep at night"

 

Panda Animal Style Coral Velvet Cartoon Costume Romper Cloak for Boyfriend/ Girlfriend

You think this is an innocent and cute panda costume, right? Wrong! It is advertised as being "for lovers". Need I say more? 

 Lipstick Shape 2-Blade Portable Funny Cooling Fan Mini Fan

Want some lipgloss? No wait, it's a fan!

The best is yet to come in Part #3 ;-)

You gotta get you a... Crazy Asian Contraptions #1

A few weeks ago, I posted about some cheap and cheerful stocking stuffer ideas from TinyDeal. Today's post is also about TinyDeal, but this time I'm focusing on the strange, weird, unusual and just plain creepy gadgets and contraptions that appeal to an Asian market.

This is going to be the first of a series of 2 posts, because there are just too many of these funnies.

Fashionable Anti-ultraviolet Sunglasses with Elastic Strap for Dogs

"Anti-ultraviolet, protects your pets from ultraviolet radiation. Fashionable glasses, makes your pets look cool"

 

Magnetic Electric Eyes Massager

"9 different massaging modes, eliminates eyestrain and tension, prevents myopia or suspends turning into high myopia (Hmmm.. dubious claim), increases blood circulation, nourishing the skin (What can't these do!?), alleviates insomnia by inducing a state of deep relaxation, helps relieve mental stress"

3-Layered Air-Inflated Cervical Vertebra Tractor Inflammable Neck Brace Support

This appears to be a triple layered air cushion, inflated with an attached pump, that you put around your neck. The claims: "Effective for releasing stiffness, muscles spasms and stress on neck, head and shoulders area, Improves blood supply to neck muscles, tendons, and ligaments to promote a total relaxation, Allows any body position: lying, sitting and standing, And any daily activities, like walking, running, working and exercising etc (You should DEFINITELY wear this while running...), Suitable for computer operators, programmers, desk workers, people spending long periods sitting, aging people and so on"

 

 Indoor Weight Loss Slimming Half Sole Slippers Fat Buster Leg Slim Shaper Shoes for Ladies Women (apparently, if you stand on a half shoe like slipper thing, you'll magically loose weight and tone your muscles because of the precarious balancing act you'll be doing...)

"Half sole design, creates a 9°angularity, can stretch and straighten leg muscle, also can make your hip callipygian (this is actually a word, I googled it! It means 'to have well shaped buttocks. not sure how you can make your hip have well shaped buttocks, but anyway...), Special design with separate toe slots, you can apply nail polish with the slippers on, Timer: 2-3 times a day for 5-10 minutes each time, rebuild your slim leg figure anytime you want"

 

Slim Mouth Piece Exercise Clip Face Shaping Cheek Slimming Beauty Tool for Gents& Ladies - also known as a "smile trainer"

 "Inside spring tension will force your mouth to use muscles to close the device. By this way, your muscles around the mouth is strengthened and tightened. Beauty helper for gents& ladies"

 

Higher Nose Shaper

"Clip it on the nose, can make the nose higher and straight. When you are watching TV, reading book, or doing yoga, you could wear this nose up clip. No pain and clip it on your nose only 10-15 minutes per day" (It certainly LOOKS painful!)

 

Portable neckline slimmer

"Effectively resistance to tone, tighten and lift saggy, underlying neck muscles. It is a totally physical therapy design. Gently firms the underlying muscles of the neck & tightens the skin for a dramatic lift"

 

 

Slimming Neck & Jaw Curve Created Under A Jaw Rolling Massager

"Creates charming and slimming neck for you. Improves blood regulation & smoothen neck muscle. And removes double chin (see, it must be magical!). Great helper to build up a prominent neckline."

 

Shouting Vase holds your anger - from Japan Trend Shop

"Turn your loudest, most urgent frustrations into mere whispers with the Shouting Vase. The plastic jug is designed to fit over the contours of your mouth and absorb your screams and shouts, “storing” them in the vase and emitting a softer version of your angry cries through the tiny hole at the base."

 

Eye Slack Haruka

"Just three minutes a day with the Eye Slack Haruka and you should see improvements in the excess or sagging skin around your eyes. Safe and easy to operate, just put the included pads onto the Haruka and then lay it under your eyes. The battery-powered vibrations and gentle heat will then start to improve the condition of your skin, seemingly taking years off you while lessening those tell-tell weary signs of age."

For Part 2 of the Crazy Asian Contraptions series, click here.

You gotta get you a... 'Stache

I have decided to make 'You gotta get you a' a regular feature of my blog. Whenever I come across weird / unusual / funny / useless products, I will post for your enjoyment :-)

You gotta get you a Bikestache:

"You and your bike are one, united in the belief that you own the road. Want to up your righteous together-itude? Well, only one thing can help, the most dominant force in the universe: the mustache. So complete the transformation from man into machine with the Bikestache."

You gotta get you a Carstache:

"Carstache: The Global Leader in Automotive Facial Hair"

You gotta get you a Carlashes:

 

If carlashes aren't enough, you can also buy crystal eyeliner (above). Flutter your carlashes and turn heads...

You gotta get you a Babystache:

Source: Alexander Crispin (from his Babystaches photography series)

Source: Readymade - includes a DIY mustache pacifier guide ... must see

"Before owning the pacifier this baby was nothing but a bag of tears and drool. Now he wrestles bears, runs a multi-million dollar company and is a hit with the ladies. He still loves pacifiers though."