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Friday, February 24, 2012

The Cool Kids Bookshelf: Go the F*ck to Sleep

The cool kids bookshelf part #2. For cool kids, and even cooler adults who never really grew up.

This is an adult's picture book. It is also perfectly suitable for toddlers who can't read, as long as you change the words. This might become problematic once they start being able to read if it becomes a favourite. At this point, you can buy the edited childrens version sans swear words. It doesn't have the same zest but it will serve a purpose. I also recommend you keep it off the child's bookshelf, incase Grandmother or someone who isn't quite as liberal as yourself finds it and awards you the prize for the worst parent in history, in the form of a two hour lecture on parenting.

The book began as a throwaway joke on Facebook, and went viral. It became an Amazon best seller way before it was published, still on pre-order. I agree that it is disgusting, contains way too many swear words and is very controversial. But it is also something ever parent or childminder can relate to, and that's why it has been so successful.

I recommend you buy this book to read to your child after a hard day when they just will not shut the f*ck up and go to sleep. Warning: contains (lots of) expletives.

Here are some of the nuggets that we can all relate to contained in the book:

"The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest / And the creatures who crawl, run and creep. / I know you're not thirsty. That's bullshit. Stop lying. / Lie the fuck down, my darling, and sleep."

 "The tiger reclines in the simmering jungle. / The sparrow has silenced her cheep. / Fuck your stuffed bear, I'm not getting you shit. / Close your eyes. Cut the crap. Sleep."

"We're finally watching our movie. / Popcorn's in the microwave. Beep. / Oh Shit. Goddamn it. You've got to be kidding. / Go the fuck back to sleep."

Tip: There are plenty of read alouds of this book on YouTube, even by celebrities. I like the one by Samuel L Jackson. There is even one by ex Playschool presentor Noni Hazelhurst. In this postmodern world, the most innocent things are butchered. I love it.


  1. LOL LOL! I haven't got any kids, but I wouldn't mind a copy of that book to chuckle over! Thanks for the preview; I'd heard of it, but not seen any of the writing from it.

  2. This is so funny! I definitely know some parents who would enjoy this little jem :)

  3. You might be eligible to receive a $1,000 Amazon Gift Card.


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